honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
