Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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