Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
