he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize