The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
