so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
