Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We got so high we made milksteak
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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