whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
