When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
