i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
