everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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