Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize