Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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