yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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