I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
