i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
