when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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