Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
