she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it glows. i had to have it.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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