I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
