drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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