do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This baby is an asshole
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
