no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
