You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
