Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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