She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Randomize