question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
