After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
