so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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