and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
