Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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