forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
