i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
