Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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