Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
