her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the condom got lost in my hair
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
