Got a toothbrush?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Last time i carry you out of a forest
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
