my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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