This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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