i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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