So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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