Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
