I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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