i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
