You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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