i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
