did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
