Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
