I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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