why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
