I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Is it penis luge time yet?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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