bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize