ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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