Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
