K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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