i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Small penises have feelings too.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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