You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
