There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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