More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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