Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
