Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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